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Sometimes when you have done something like a pattern in
your life and once it is gone your life seems incomplete.
No matter you try to leave it behind you it seems harder to
move on.
People say, just move on and sometimes when you are use to
someone being there you seemed accustom them being there for you.
Now, you are no longer important to them they have left your
side you seem lost and unsure what is happening to you.
I feel so helpless, but everyone tells you just to move on
and it is not a big deal.
The feeling hurts deep inside and you want to cry it out but
you wonder if the person is even worth it.
My best friend said, those people are not worth it and to
get over and move on.
Now, I wonder what if something more painful happens to your
immediate family how will I ever move on not realizing this pain I feel can
happen to me over again as your family leaves you behind in this world.
I realize I need to change the way I live and prepare myself
when that times comes.
We lose everyone in our life as they fail to show up in your
presence and you realize what happens when something bigger happens to your
life.
How will I cope with it if something greater happens and who
will be there for me when I am going to something tragic you start pin pointing
and wonder who those people will be there when the time comes.
Sometimes the people leaving behind are nesting and
preparing leaving you behind as you are uncertain how you can live without
them.
Just like a broken heart you hide up the pictures shared
with memories. We end up doing the same when someone beside of us is no longer
in our existence we hid all our memories away. The more we look at them it
because painful in our heart.
After helping your immediate family with all their assets
you begin to wonder when the time comes everything gets transferred to you how
will you deal with all that responsibilities in your life.
Who will be there to take your parents place when they no
longer exist in this world we live in?
I have friends who have lost their parents and now I feel
the pain in a different way and how the painful memories hit to them.
I realize it is so painful even if you give them encouraging
words it still hurts us inside. Lucky me both of my parents are still alive.
Now, I feel the pain that settles in my friend’s heart that has
lost something greater than me. They sleepless nights thinking how they wish
their parents we’re still at their side.
They lose that feeling not wanting to eat and when that day
comes during the birthdays, holidays and the date they passed away from us
seems harder to cope and move on.
I just realized something like that is more painful than
what I am feeling inside.
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